Or, 4 Reasons Why You Are Probably So Over This Blog
1. I post infrequently.
My last post? Three weeks ago. Just pathetic. And I don’t even really have excuses—I just, you know, have work during the day, and then I come home and do other stuff. Stuff that is not blogging. Sometimes I try to clean the house. Sometimes I practice the Brahms Requiem which I’m singing for choir (omg y’all this German is DEVOURING MY SOUL). Sometimes I just lie on the couch and complain about how tired I am. And I don’t even have kids, just cats.
Because visual representations of data are always fun, here’s a nice pie chart:
I probably should have added a “hot baths” category but I haven’t had a bath in a few weeks because the tub needs a good scrub but I’ve been too busy lying on the couch. So…you know.
2. I post erratically.
Some writers have handy genre-centered blogs with beautiful banners and clever punny titles about DIY home decor or politics or cooking or design. This is nice because you can rely on those blogs as sources of regular inspiration/information on your particular subject of interest. Unfortunately, you can’t really count on a certain type of content from me. This is probably frustrating for people who, say, happen upon my post about cleaning solutions and want more, only to find cranky rants about Joe Paterno and pictures of my bike. Like the good cataloger I am, I try to at least sort posts into certain groups and apply certain tags, but let’s be real—I’m an aimless writer with hoboish mental tendencies.
How my brain works. (This is me as a hobo, in case you didn’t realize.)
3. I’m too lazy to watermark my photos.
So please don’t steal them. K? K thx.
Piglet says, “Steal this photo, beeyatch. I dares you.”
4. I am a really terrible reader/commenter.
I’ll be going along with my life, when all of a sudden I’ll remember the blogosphere. It goes like this:
*FOREHEADSMACK*
Holy crapballs.
I have a blog.
I should probably log in to WordPress.
*FOREHEADSMACKAGAIN*
Omg.
Other people I like have blogs.
I should read them and leave thoughtful comments.
*GETSOVERWHELMED*
I’m a terrible person.
Everyone else is conscientious and community-oriented and I’m a selfish sloth.
I don’t belong here.
*GETSDEPRESSEDANDEATSJAROFPEANUTBUTTER*
Reasons Why 
bahahaha. This makes me laugh so hard because I started a blog, and I was all like, “yeah, I’m gonna have this awesome blog about my fitness adventures and keep track of the things I learn, and maybe it can help someone else!” And then………I wrote ONE post. LOL.
You had a blog!? Why didn’t you post it on Fb? Or did I just miss it? See, I’m the worst blog reader in the world.
I love when you do write a post. Keyword. When.
I love this post. #2 especially. Here’s why someone like you should blog consistently: you’re funny. Even if it’s just once a week…do a piss-yourself-laughing post about nothing in particular. The fact that you’re not focused doesn’t matter, because that could be your thing. Funny stuff about random things. Anyhow…good one. Off to read some more of your posts now.
Thanks for the kind words–hopefully I will be a little more diligent. [she says as she decides to have a hot bath and drink beer instead of doing laundry]