Or, 4 Reasons Why I Was Obliged to Take a 1.5 Hour Hot Bath and Drink Half a Bottle of Wine Last Night
1. On September 1, the Atlanta Braves had an eight-game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals in the race for the National League wild card slot.
From jubilation and dancing in the streets…
2. Between September 1 and September 27, the Braves only won 9 games (they lost 17 out of 26 overall) and their lead over the Cardinals dwindled to zero.
…to slack-jawed disbelief…
3. On the evening of September 28, the Braves gave up their last long shot at the playoffs, surrendering a 3-1 lead and ultimately hitting into a double play in the 13th inning to lose the game.
…and, finally, the numbness of despair. I thought I had hit rock-bottom. But I was wrong. (See Item 4.)
4. This morning, I woke to the realization that I spent six months of my life listening to that ass-clown Chip Carey FOR NAUGHT.
Cue weeping and gnashing of teeth.