Tag Archives: books

4 Reasons Why I Am Embarrassed

Or, 4 Reasons Why I’m A Goober

1. It’s been 3 months since my last post.

I mean, good lord. That’s pretty much a lifetime. I can’t believe what a sadsack blogger I am. So…what’s up with you guys? Anything exciting? I trimmed my bangs too short back in March. That’s my news.

2. All my pants look like this.

Piglet is in this picture because she was chasing a fly. Note the crazy eyes.

Piglet is in this picture because she was chasing a fly. Note the crazy eyes.

How did it come to this, you ask? Well, I’m short and lazy. That’s like the perfect storm of bad traits in terms of pant length. Every pair I buy is too long and I’m certainly not going to do any actual hemming. I mean, I took this picture when I went downstairs to get my sewing machine and pin up the pants to the right length, and the whole time I knew I was lying to myself. I just color-coordinated the yarn in my yarn drawer and eventually got chased away by an angry fly.

So the upshot is that I go to work everyday looking like Huck Finn.

3. I used my busy academic library’s borrowing service to get this book.

How to Seize a Dragon's Jewel (How to Train Your Dragon 10) by Cressida Cowell. Picture from www.amazon.co.uk.

How to Seize a Dragon’s Jewel (How to Train Your Dragon 10) by Cressida Cowell. Image from http://www.amazon.co.uk.

Although the ILL folks are all very kind and would assure me that I’m not using this service inappropriately, I know they’d just be saying that to make me feel better. It’s clear that our interlibrary loan exists for researchers who need that obscure but crucial article or they can’t finish writing the incredibly serious paper/thesis/book chapter which must be completed BY NEXT WEEK OH GOD PLEASE PLEASE LET THE ARTICLE GET HERE SOON OR I’M DOOOOOOOMED

And here I am clogging up the works with kids’ books. But you guys, these books. They are the absolute best. Please please read them yourself and then give them to all the kids you know and also make sure to listen to the audiobooks which are narrated by David Tennant. Yes, that David Tennant. You remember David Tennant, right?

And of course he narrates them with adorable Scottish-y brilliance. Don’t miss it.

4. There are eight realistic toad figurines on my eBay watchlist right now.

And I spent a long time at work today carefully comparing these toads and wondering which would look the most…er, toady. The wartier the better. Because [imagine my voice going into high-pitch rapid-fire mode right about now] I’M DOING A HARRY POTTER EXHIBIT AT THE LIBRARY AND IT HAS TO BE PERFECT. I am obsessed. Harry Potter deserves nothing less than the best, you guys, so I’m giving it my all. (I should probably also remember to catalog some stuff though.)

Is it just me, or is this one a little too cute?

Is it just me, or is this one not warty enough?

Hey, does anyone have a cute little burlap sack I could borrow for three months? I need it for dragon dung. Thx.

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3 Reasons Why I Fear My Book-Nerdness Has Finally Become Straight Up Neurosis

Or, 3 Reasons Why I’m Surprised I Can Function Socially (Well, Sort of Function)

1. Constant allusiveness.

Last week during a bleary-eyed walk to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I thought “Gah, this sucks, I feel like Gandalf finding a path through the mines of Moria.” It didn’t help that I caught sight of Piglet lurking in the shadows like a balrog.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

Anyway, see what this means? I’m not even having original thoughts any more. My inner monologue is now just an unending stream of book excerpts—and currently it seems to rely heavily on a mixture of Hamlet, P.G. Wodehouse novels, and exclamatory expressions used by Nero Wolfe (pfui!).

2. Obsession not only with books but also with lists of books.

I recently spent an entire afternoon reorganizing my main Goodreads list into a number of more granular lists dedicated to various categories, in order to better analyze my reading habits and preferences. Here are some pie charts demonstrating the results (predilection for pie charts is another daily struggle).

BY ERA: I omitted a large chunk of classic literature before the 1800s, but that category would be almost exclusively things I read for high school and college classes, and I’m just trying to track my preferences in leisure reading.
BY GENRE: There is some overlap between children/young adult and the other genres, but I decided that the CYA designation is primary and the others secondary, especially considering the aforementioned purpose of this analysis. 

Here’s a bar graph illustrating how little you care.

Levels of Interest

According to my calculations, I’m higher on the list than televised golf tournaments. But just barely.

3. Severe withdrawals.

I invariably experience a period of malaise after reading a truly good novel, during which I mope and fret and dismiss all other books as weary, stale, flat, and unprofitable. This condition is even more acute following completion of a series. When I finished Deathly Hallows, for instance, I sank into despondence so deep that it took weeks before I had the heart to pick up another book, and it was a challenge just to keep my hair brushed and eat something besides peanut-butter toast. You know there’s something wrong when your reading habits directly result in the consumption of three jars of Skippy Natural.

Omg DELICIOUS, even when you’re not so depressed that you maunder about in a bathrobe drinking milk from the jug and making pathetic attempts to cast Cheering Charms.


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